5.26.99 ::8:59 am:: stupid dog tricks ::
thanks for everyone who's e*ed me and asked where the hell i've been. well, let's just say that i'm severely burnt out and not even my sisters see me anymore. hardy har har. you know what? econ sucks. like really sucks. ok.. actually "mean, a**hole" teacher is ok (econ 625). he pisses me off so much i want to prove him wrong. (weird psychology i know. i know...) it's this personal vengeance thing. but, in 502a (macro really sucks) the teacher is calm and nauseatingly nice and she doesn't have homework. she's like just learn it somehow and it's really really frustrating because i have no gage every week to tell me how i'm doing. i need outside stimuli. i think that's what my problem is.. outside stimuli. yeah. you know what else? anthro sucks too. for a survey class? it's pure hell. i work harder in that class than 625. sad but, true. hint... hint... williams. monkeys, dead things and you are getting on my nerves.
ok... so, karl's back. am i happy? yeah i guess. i don't know he's reverting back into an inconsiderate lump of poo again. and he's dragging me down. like, i was functioning normal and well before he came back and now, i'm subject to his sisters temper tantrums and whatever the hell is going on in their household. they so don't have any regard for schedules or other people. ugh ugh b&*^%, b*&^%$. i had this epiphany it was great. i'm coming real close to graduating and i just realized that i'm not subject to my parents whims anymore. i mean, what else do they want? i've satisfied my duty going to Ohio State and majoring in something practical. they haven't said anything else they wanted. what more can they ask for? their daugther is graduating. that's all they bitched about for 4 years and they've got it. i'm free. free at last. so, everything i crammed into the back of my brain. all the stuff i remebered being happy and excited about has come back. i feel so 17 again. money is not a big issue anymore. i want to get back into community service. i've missed it. i've missed being a peer mediator. i've missed my art. i've missed caring about something so passionately that i threw myself into it. in retrospect, i can honestly say i didn't care about anything really in my school life. i coulda cared less. the driving force was making my paernts happy. and it's not about that anymore. it's about me and gawd.. i am so much more happier. so, i've decided to get back into volunteering and geting active. so, i'm volunteering @ the arthritis foundation 'cuz y'all know i have Stills. and i hope to do stuff with the AIDS task force. oooooo.. and even cooler news, i'm starting my application process for the peace corps. and also, americorps. i'm applying to a couple of fellowships there and i also have to write a research proposal for another one of their fellowships. i'm so excited.
ok.. and no more bulls&*^ing around. i AM (the operative word is AM) going to go pursue that college experience that i was robbed of. after my 2 years stint doing said mention things in paragraph 2. i'm going to try my hand @ being a davis scholar or an ada comstock scholar. i'll be 24 and independent. now, that's what i'm really excited about. majoring in what i want? doing it @ a school i want? ahh.. what could be better? afterwards i'll be going to a business school to get my MBA. happy happy joy joy. i'm really excited. i'm radiating energy and it is awesome.
btw, quick shout outs. anson: he just adores my sis muki so much. mr. mahone: to a fantastic guy he's trying to hook me up with alot of organizations and he's just fabu. mr. bauer, and mr.loweki: we've all bonded due to 625. mr. love: a guy who just completely understands where i'm coming from. nader nawar: to his new found success and his new life. julie: to her new job and her new found respect within her new company. sister mak'eda: for giving me a fantastic opportunity to teach and do something good. vicki: to her new found love. whom i just think is just the bees knees. tran: to the girl who has truly found what makes her happy. tim: he's found his soulmate and they're getting married. i's so excited. wendy: to the girl who has found herself. and inspired me to find myself. karl: even though he can be a pain sometimes. i'm so thankful for his support and his love.
so, this is a pretty lowtech page. not really what y'all are used to from me. well, there's a reason for this. both of my sisters and i have decided to start up a webzine called chink and it'll be up soon. right after chris and i take finals. ohh.. finals that's another can of worms i just don't feel like opening up. *sigh*.
'till whenever.
XOXO, manda
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